I Spin Crabs Right Round, Baby

To best communicate my end-of-term project I decided to rewrite the lyrics of the fantastic song, “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” by Dead or Alive. The lyrics below speak for themselves but before you read them I strongly recommend you watch the original music video in order to have the right tune in mind and more importantly because it might be even more fantastic than the song. Seriously, go watch it right now.

I, decided to study crabs
Well and I, tested a number of factors, baby

First of all I looked at sex
By flipping crabs onto their backs
The pattern on their ventral side
Showed what sex it is that they subscribe

And then I, changed the temperature (in an acute way)
So that crabs, were exposed for forty-five seconds, baby

And then I looked at the effect
Of sex and temp on crawling speed
But there’s one factor I’ve forgot
And it’s the one that you should heed

I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, it was clockwise, baby
Right round, round round
I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, at two temperatures
Twelve and twenty-eight degrees

mK7iyp

So what, what did I actually find?
After I, took a total of one-sixty samples

Well I ran a three-way ANOVA
Which tells me if any factor
Affects the crawling speed of crabs
In a significant way

I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, and they hated it
At least I can assume they did
I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, to mimic wave action
Which tumbles them around, round

I want results
With low p-values

Well although spin had no effect
And sadly neither did crab’s sex
High temps caused faster crawling speeds
In most of the subjects

I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, temp had an effect
That was somewhat significant
I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, this makes sense to me
Because crabs are ectothermic

I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, spin had no effect
None at all, they moved the same
I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, it did nothing, baby
Didn’t slow them down a bit

I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, science is weird at times
Results can disappoint you
I spun crabs right round, baby
Right round, don’t be sad, baby
You’re still a good biologist


If you are interested in learning more about disorientation in invertebrates, specifically about the organ that functions to maintain balance, check out this paper.

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